Frozen Fantasy: Ouija Knows Best

Futility. It's a fantasy four-letter word. And it's already crippling more than a few fantasy squads. Hands up if you don't have at least one or two Hurricanes, Sabres, Panthers, Oilers and Coyotes. And I haven't even mentioned the Jets.

Will any of them even get to 20 wins?

Twenty wins is a pretty standard noose that hangs around the NHL's worst team each year. But right now, some of the teams I mentioned might not even hit the 20-win mark.

Hell, the Canes might not even win a game until mid-November. And if they don't win then, it could be the end of the month before they get another shot.

Connor McDavid, you're a wanted man.

The Sabres have already invited McDavid's OHL team to town to play one of their league games there. And several Sabres' fans were seen sporting "McDavid 97" jerseys.

McDavid is a generational talent whose playmaking skills have been compared to the one and only Sidney Crosby. And his future is about as certain as the predictions of a Ouija board.

Ouija. I've heard that movie sucks and it's only been out a couple days. Convoluted. Unimaginative. Suspense-free. Hmmm…those are the same adjectives I'd use to describe the Canes, the Sabres, the Panthers…you get the point.

Every one of these teams could build a successful future around McDavid. But I can't help but think the league wouldn't mind him landing in the desert.

Yes, my money is on Coyotes. Doesn't every failing franchise need a Moneyball win? I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Not one little bit. The Yotes have some of the best players of any of those teams listed. But Mike Smith has been falling to pieces (at least so far). And that team is screwed unless Devan Dubnyk (discussed below) starts channeling his best Carey Price.

The McDavid sweepstakes aside, I'm not sure I remember so many teams sucking this bad to start a season. And the fantasy implications are widespread.

Remember what I said last week about re-thinking my position on owning guys from crappy teams? Yeah, this is going to be a weird fantasy season. I'm not willing to throw in that towel entirely. But I might in a few more weeks.

Now let's take a look at who caught my eye.

Nick Bonino, C, Vancouver (20 percent Yahoo! owned) and Linden Vey, RW, Vancouver (2 percent Yahoo! owned): Bonino has a regular gig on Vancouver's second line. Vey has been given ice time on the team's top power-play unit. Both have similar numbers so far. But right now, one guy is a lot more valuable than the other. And surprise, surprise -- that guy is Vey. Don't get me wrong -- Bonino is a perfectly fine fantasy option, but Vey is getting some time on the top power-play unit. And Friday night's implosion aside, the Orcas' top power play still has the strength of the twins. Short term, I'm stashing Vey. I may drop him again soon enough, but he's worth a spot if I can get a short-term boost.

Brad Boyes, RW/C, Florida (4 percent Yahoo! owned): So far, so good -- this 32-year-old winger is off to a decent start. Or should I say, off to a good three-game, four-point streak. He's motivated, or more specifically, desperate to show he still belongs in the NHL, even if it is in feeble Florida. You see, his gig as a scorer with the Kitties hung in the balance after he sputtered in a miserable second half last year. He still has 20-plus goal potential, but he needs to stay hot -- there are a lot of young tomcats prowling the beaches down south. Desperation will breed production, if only for 25 or 30 games. Take advantage. Then dump his sorry, neutered butt when the Panthers realize he can't keep up. Or play two-way hockey. Or…you get the point.

Joe Colborne, C, Calgary (6 percent Yahoo! owned): My jaw dropped Friday morning when I saw Leafs reject Colborne atop the NHL playmakers list with eight assists. I even double-checked it to be sure I wasn't delusional. I wasn't. It's funny how a marginal guy escapes Toronto and ends up playing solid hockey somewhere else. He can't keep this up, especially if they skate him with Mason Raymond. But he will deliver something if he skates with Sean Monahan and Jiri Hudler. Watch carefully and get ready to grab him.

Blake Comeau, LW, Pittsburgh (1 percent Yahoo! owned): Comeau is a journeyman checker with limited upside. But even that type of guy has value on a Pens roster that boasts a healthy Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Comeau has three assists in his last two games, one of which came when he was on the ice with Geno. Yep -- they've moved Comeau onto the second line with Geno and Pascal Dupuis. It's Comeau's job to chase the puck and dig it out so the other two can play keep away with it. Even-strength points will come, almost by osmosis. Nothing wrong with that in deep formats.

Devan Dubnyk, G, Arizona (3 percent Yahoo! owned): I've heard rumbles of a goalie controversy in the desert, so get this guy on your radar STAT. There's a bit of stink in the blue paint down there -- starter Mike Smith has been downright smelly so far. Dubnyk looked great beating the Kings in his first start and so-so in an OT loss in his second. But a starter is a starter and Smith looks like he's a shell of his former self right now.

Tobias Enstrom, D, Winnipeg (24 percent Yahoo! owned): Six assists in seven games -- yes, it's the start of a rebound for this two-time, 50-plus point defender. His production warrants higher ownership, but beware that plus-minus. The Jets will struggle as long as Ondrej Pavelec is between the pipes and Enstrom will pay the price. But grab him if you're punting plus-minus. The rest of his work will be worth it.

Jonas Gustavsson, G, Detroit (8 percent Yahoo! owned): The Monster lives up to his nickname when he's healthy enough to play. But his chronic groin problems make his availability somewhat unpredictable. And that's a nice way to describe it. He's slated to be in the net Saturday against Philly and he's coming off a shutout in his only start so far. Stash him. Use him. Just be ready to grab Petr Mrazek when his hip flexor goes TWANG.

Evgeni Nabokov, G, Tampa Bay (4 percent Yahoo! owned): The Bolts are a damn fine team, even with Victor Hedman on the sidelines. So it's pretty much a no-brainer to stick this 39-year-old twinetender in your net when the team plays in back-to-back games. Sure, he'll lose a few. But he hasn't lost his compete. And that alone will deliver you a decent fantasy boost.

Kris Russell, D, Calgary (6 percent Yahoo! owned): What a difference a coach makes. It's not that Russell and Ken Hitchcock didn't mesh in St. Loo; it's just that Russell and Bob Hartley look like a match made in heaven. The smallish Russell delivered 29 points, including 12 on the power play, in 68 games last season. And that has carried over to this season…OK, at least the last week or so. He had five assists, one of which came with the man advantage, in his last five games. But that's not all. He was plus-8 with 11 blocked shots in those same five outings and that makes him a multi-category contributor in most Yahoo! leagues. His power-play production may not be high right now, but just remember – Dennis Wideman often starts strong and then fizzles the longer he stays in a city. Watch both of them and be ready to pounce, especially if you have Wideman on your bench.

Niklas Svedberg, G, Boston (9 percent Yahoo! owned): I'm still not sure if this guy will develop into an NHL starter or just an elite backup/platoon type. But so far, he's been sparkling in spot duty behind Tuukka Rask, who has been sketchy to start the season. The real test will be when he starts in a Chara-free world. If he stands tall in that situation, I'm grabbing him off the wire. The move will drive Rask's owners into howls of complaint, particularly if their man continues to look a little lost. Sure, that's a little mean, but I'm fine with that. LOL.

Devante Smith-Pelly, RW, Anaheim (7 percent Yahoo! owned): We caught a glimpse of this guy's potential when he hit the gas in last year's playoffs. Yes, those five goals in a six-game span were very, very real. And that means that he's much more than a tooth-rattling, third-line checker. He's now skating on the Quackers' top line with two studs named Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf, and he's already reaping the benefits. I'm putting my money where my mouth is on this guy -- he's already on my roster. How about yours? Go now.

Alex Tanguay, LW/RW, Colorado (8 percent Yahoo! owned): Tangs was largely overlooked on draft day after missing so much time last year. #mistake. He's on a four-game point streak and while he won't possibly keep that level of production up, he will deliver top-six production on the cheap. You'll need to have a contingency plan -- he'll be 35 next month, after all, and he's coming off hip surgery. But I'd still rather have him and his two-position eligibility on my squad than a truckload of 50-plus percent owned guys.

Back to fantasy futility.

I don't remember a time when there were so few truly ownable players on so many teams. Honestly, I have to wonder why anyone owns any Sabres, Panthers and Canes. Yes, including Eric Staal and Jeff Skinner.

Wait a sec. I own Skinner. And Roberto Luongo. Crap, Keith Yandle, too.

But I have no intention of throwing in the towel. Hustling the wire might just be the difference between respectability and pure ugliness.

Let's tear at this together. Some tough drops might be coming.

Until next week.